↓
 

Lobos Locos

lupine lessons on keeping apes

  • Blog
  • The Pack
  • The Sniffing Room
  • Wolf Resources
    • Advice from a Wolf
  • Photos
Home→Tags humor

Tag Archives: humor

A profile photo of a husky, looking upwards, with tail curled up and over her back. Background of grass and greenery.

I Wuz a 56-year-old Virgin

avatarPosted on May 21 by TyeeMay 21, 2017  

Pack Leader tells me humans live seven years for every one of ours.

In that case, I told her, I expected seven times as many treats for my eighth birthday this month—however many that is! (I don’t do timeses.)

Little did I know I had an extra-special treat coming my way…on four cute little bitchy paws!

We were visiting my favorite set of neighbors. Deb and Scotty are my personal faves because Deb always has goodies going on in the kitchen and she is one of the most generous humans I know when it comes to feeding wolves. So there I was, being petted and feted by half a dozen humans around a backyard barbecue, when a good-looking, aromatic young miss poked her ears above the garden wall.

I heard myself whine with longing.

Darned if she didn’t come down to our level, followed by her human. Wow! She smelled terrific! It was love at first sniff. I couldn’t stop following my overactive nose.

Continue reading →

Posted in Half-Breed and the City | Tagged heat, humor, nature, parties, people, sex, strange ape habits, virginity, wolf-dog, wolf-dogs, wolves | Leave a reply

Taming the Beast: dealing with apes when they first wake up

avatarPosted on September 14 by BlueOctober 12, 2012  

If there’s one thing I learned from my time among apes, it was that some of them can be downright snarly in the morning. Even if they are the sort to be generally more chipper in the morning than the evening, they won’t bound out of bed, ready for action. They need time to fully “wake up”, they say.

I didn’t always understand this. For me, a single sound reaching my furry ears would have me up on my four paws, ready for anything. Not that I’m the aggressive sort — not at all. But I was protective of my pack, and often walked ahead as scout-wolf on our evening constitutionals, in case of danger. Or treats from a stranger, I’ll admit.

Time among apes changed me, and I found as I got on in years I’d prefer to sleep more than do other things. Still, in the morning I was awake right away — usually because my bladder called me to be so.

When I was a young thing, I’d wait for the need to go out to become pressing and urgent before dragging my humans out of bed. This, fellow canines, is a mistake. It will make your human grumpy and your walk short.

Unless you wake up with your bladder already full, you should have some time before it becomes a matter of urgent attention. Wake your human as soon as possible. They will want to have this noxious black liquid to “become alive”, as my Mistress always said. “I’m not alive in the morning without my coffee, Blue,” she’d say, patting my head and scratching behind my ears. To be perfectly honest she wasn’t alive in the morning with coffee; her best hours were always after sunset. But I digress.

Continue reading →

Posted in Wolf Etiquette | Tagged coffee, family, Hawaii, humor, opinion, people, strange ape habits, wolf-dogs, wolves | Leave a reply

Los Lobos Locos

  • 1 Amaruq
    • Cherchez la Chienne, part 3
    • Cherchez la Chienne, Part 2
    • Cherchez la Chienne, Part 1
  • 1 Blue
    • Taming the Beast: dealing with apes when they first wake up
  • 1 Major
    • Cotacachi Butch
    • Escape to Doguador
    • Paw Prince of Profissey
  • 1 Tyee
    • A book in a cloud?
    • I Wuz a 56-year-old Virgin
    • Wolves in the Kitchen

Recent Comments

  • Barb on I Am Technowolf — Hear Me Growl!
  • Michelle on Doggisattva of Compassion

Follow Tyee on Twitter

My Tweets

Links

  • Doggy Idol

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 1 other subscriber

©2022 - Lobos Locos - Weaver Xtreme Theme
↑